{"product_id":"im-retired-youre-not-hoodie","title":"\"I'm Retired, You're Not\" Hoodie","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e🥂💼 \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"5\"\u003eThe ultimate \"Out of Office\" reply you can wear.\u003c\/b\u003e After years of meetings that could have been emails and \"circling back\" to projects, you’ve finally done it. You’re out. Our \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"179\"\u003e\"I'm Retired, You're Not\"\u003c\/b\u003e collection is the perfect way to remind your former colleagues exactly who is sleeping in tomorrow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eAvailable in a premium \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"23\"\u003eheavyweight hoodie\u003c\/b\u003e or a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"7\" data-index-in-node=\"47\"\u003esoft-fleece sweatshirt\u003c\/b\u003e, this design is built for maximum relaxation. Whether you’re heading to the golf course, the airport, or just the living room couch, this is the official uniform of your new permanent weekend. It’s the perfect blend of brutal honesty and cozy comfort—because the only thing better than being retired is making sure everyone knows it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e⚠️ Important Customer Disclaimer:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePlease read before purchasing:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"10,1\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eProduction Type:\u003c\/b\u003e This is a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003ePrint-on-Demand (POD)\u003c\/b\u003e product. Each hoodie or sweatshirt is custom-printed specifically for you once your order is placed, ensuring a crisp, high-definition finish for your retirement announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStyle Selection:\u003c\/b\u003e This listing includes options for both \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"56\"\u003eHoodies\u003c\/b\u003e (with front pocket and drawstring) and \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"103\"\u003eCrewneck Sweatshirts\u003c\/b\u003e. Please ensure you have selected your preferred garment style from the dropdown menu.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eImages for Illustration:\u003c\/b\u003e All product images are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"48\"\u003edigital mockups\u003c\/b\u003e. The final design is digitally printed. Actual print colors may vary slightly (\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"143\"\u003e5-10%\u003c\/b\u003e) based on screen settings and the fabric blend of the garment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10,1,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"10,1,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eAcceptance of Terms:\u003c\/b\u003e By completing your purchase, you acknowledge that this is a custom-printed item tailored to your specific size, color, and style choice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e✨ Key Features:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBold Sarcastic Graphic:\u003c\/b\u003e Features high-impact, easy-to-read typography. We use durable, soft-hand inks that won't crack or peel, even after a retirement's worth of naps and washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePremium Comfort Blends:\u003c\/b\u003e Crafted from a cozy cotton-polyester blend. Our hoodies and sweatshirts are designed for a \"soft-brushed\" interior feel, providing warmth without the weight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe \"Freedom\" Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e A classic unisex silhouette with a relaxed drape. It offers plenty of room for layering—perfect for those chilly morning walks that you used to spend in traffic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eBuilt to Last:\u003c\/b\u003e Features double-needle stitching, 1x1 athletic rib-knit cuffs, and spandex for a stretch that keeps its shape through your entire golden era.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003e🧵 Product Specifications:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eStyles:\u003c\/b\u003e Heavyweight Hoodie \/ Classic Crewneck Sweatshirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFit:\u003c\/b\u003e Unisex Relaxed Fit (True to size; size up for an extra-baggy \"cozy\" look).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFabric:\u003c\/b\u003e Soft Cotton\/Poly Fleece (8.0 oz).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,3,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eVibe:\u003c\/b\u003e Retirement Humor \/ Office Joke \/ Sarcastic Statement \/ Professional Exit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16,4,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eSizes:\u003c\/b\u003e Small to 5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"17\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"18\"\u003e✅ Why It’s the Perfect Gift:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"19\"\u003eSearching for the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19\" data-index-in-node=\"18\"\u003eBest Retirement Gift for a Coworker\u003c\/b\u003e, a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19\" data-index-in-node=\"57\"\u003eFunny Office Farewell Present\u003c\/b\u003e, or a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"19\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003eHilarious Gift for Dad or Mom\u003c\/b\u003e? This \"I'm Retired\" hoodie is a legend in the making. It’s high-quality, hilariously smug, and the perfect way to celebrate the end of an era.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dog Mom Hat","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":49788017836269,"sku":null,"price":41.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":49788017869037,"sku":null,"price":41.85,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":49788017901805,"sku":null,"price":42.3,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":49788017934573,"sku":null,"price":42.75,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":49788017967341,"sku":null,"price":44.55,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":49788018000109,"sku":null,"price":46.35,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ S","offer_id":49788018032877,"sku":null,"price":41.4,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 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