"Being A Dick Won't Make Yours Any Bigger" Funny T-Shirt
"Being A Dick Won't Make Yours Any Bigger" Funny T-Shirt
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Very responsive and super helpful in creating the perfect design for the embroidery. My lover absolutely adored it. The couple customization is brilliant and is such o thoughtful gift idea, as well! Love it!
Lexie Gilmore
★★★★★The sweatshirt and embroidery is wonderful! I ordered this as a gift for my girlfriend and she loves it! The quality is so good and the embroidery was exactly as the reference picture! It also came super quickly and turned out very nicely!
Natasha Kotal
★★★★★Great item for couple! The sweater is so soft inside and the embroidery is exactly what I requested. The Couplematching support was quick and helpful when I had a question about the item, and catered to my needs as I had specific, would definitely recommend to others!
Lynelly Blackett
★★★★★
Size Guide
Product measurements
(*) Please note that there might be a ±1.0 inches difference due to manual measurement and production processes.
Chest: Measured across the chest one inch below armhole when laid flat
Body Length: Measured from high point of shoulder from the back
Sleeve Length: Start at center of neck and measure down shoulder, down sleeve to hem.
Size guide text
🖕📏 A public service announcement for the personality-challenged. Some truths are hard to swallow, but this one is easy to wear. Our "Being A Dick..." Tee is the ultimate comeback for the toxic energy in the room. It’s witty, it’s savage, and it’s the perfect social filter for anyone who has officially run out of patience for nonsense.
This is a premium custom-printed heavyweight staple, designed for those who speak fluent sarcasm. Featuring a clean, high-impact typographic layout, this shirt doesn't just make a statement—it shuts down the competition. Whether you're heading to a crowded bar, a family reunion you didn't want to attend, or just running errands, this tee does the talking for you.
⚠️ Important Customer Disclaimer:
Please read before purchasing:
Production Type: This is a Print-on-Demand (POD) product. Each shirt is custom-printed specifically for you once your order is placed, ensuring a fresh and sharp finish for your "brutal honesty" wardrobe.
Content Advisory: This garment contains Adult Humor and Sarcasm. It is intended for mature audiences who appreciate edgy, provocative wit.
Images for Illustration: All product images are digital mockups. The final design is digitally printed onto the garment. Please note that actual print colors may vary slightly (5-10%) based on screen resolution and the texture of the heavyweight cotton.
Acceptance of Terms: By completing your purchase, you acknowledge that this is a custom-printed item tailored to your specific size and color selection.
✨ Key Features:
-
High-Impact Sarcastic Graphic: Features bold, easy-to-read typography that delivers the punchline with surgical precision. We use high-grade, soft-hand inks that won't crack or peel, even after the most heated arguments.
-
PROUDLY MADE IN USA: This garment is printed and shipped from within the United States, supporting local labor and ensuring a higher standard of quality control and faster shipping.
-
Premium "Lived-In" Heavyweight Cotton: Crafted from 100% ring-spun US cotton (6.1 oz). This is a substantial, high-end fabric that provides a structured, "expensive" drape and a buttery-soft feel that gets better with every wash.
-
The "Zero F*cks" Fit: A classic unisex/men's silhouette with a relaxed, boxy feel. It’s the perfect foundation for an edgy casual look—pair it with distressed denim, a leather jacket, or your favorite pair of "don't talk to me" sunglasses.
🧵 Product Specifications:
-
Fit: Unisex Standard Fit (True to size; size up for a modern oversized look).
-
Fabric: 100% Ring-Spun Heavyweight Cotton (6.1 oz).
-
Vibe: Adult Humor / Brutal Honesty / Trending Sarcasm / Edgy Streetwear.
-
Sizes: Small to 5XL.
✅ Why It’s the Perfect Gift:
Searching for a Funny Gift for a Sarcastic Friend, a Divorce Party Present, or a Bold White Elephant Gift? This shirt is a legendary choice. It’s high-quality, hilariously blunt, and 100% accurate.
🖕📏 A public service announcement for the personality-challenged. Some truths are hard to swallow, but this one is easy to wear. Our "Being A Dick..." Tee is the ultimate comeback for the toxic energy in the room. It’s witty, it’s savage, and it’s the perfect social filter for anyone who has officially run out of patience for nonsense.
This is a premium custom-printed heavyweight staple, designed for those who speak fluent sarcasm. Featuring a clean, high-impact typographic layout, this shirt doesn't just make a statement—it shuts down the competition. Whether you're heading to a crowded bar, a family reunion you didn't want to attend, or just running errands, this tee does the talking for you.
⚠️ Important Customer Disclaimer:
Please read before purchasing:
Production Type: This is a Print-on-Demand (POD) product. Each shirt is custom-printed specifically for you once your order is placed, ensuring a fresh and sharp finish for your "brutal honesty" wardrobe.
Content Advisory: This garment contains Adult Humor and Sarcasm. It is intended for mature audiences who appreciate edgy, provocative wit.
Images for Illustration: All product images are digital mockups. The final design is digitally printed onto the garment. Please note that actual print colors may vary slightly (5-10%) based on screen resolution and the texture of the heavyweight cotton.
Acceptance of Terms: By completing your purchase, you acknowledge that this is a custom-printed item tailored to your specific size and color selection.
✨ Key Features:
-
High-Impact Sarcastic Graphic: Features bold, easy-to-read typography that delivers the punchline with surgical precision. We use high-grade, soft-hand inks that won't crack or peel, even after the most heated arguments.
-
PROUDLY MADE IN USA: This garment is printed and shipped from within the United States, supporting local labor and ensuring a higher standard of quality control and faster shipping.
-
Premium "Lived-In" Heavyweight Cotton: Crafted from 100% ring-spun US cotton (6.1 oz). This is a substantial, high-end fabric that provides a structured, "expensive" drape and a buttery-soft feel that gets better with every wash.
-
The "Zero F*cks" Fit: A classic unisex/men's silhouette with a relaxed, boxy feel. It’s the perfect foundation for an edgy casual look—pair it with distressed denim, a leather jacket, or your favorite pair of "don't talk to me" sunglasses.
🧵 Product Specifications:
-
Fit: Unisex Standard Fit (True to size; size up for a modern oversized look).
-
Fabric: 100% Ring-Spun Heavyweight Cotton (6.1 oz).
-
Vibe: Adult Humor / Brutal Honesty / Trending Sarcasm / Edgy Streetwear.
-
Sizes: Small to 5XL.
✅ Why It’s the Perfect Gift:
Searching for a Funny Gift for a Sarcastic Friend, a Divorce Party Present, or a Bold White Elephant Gift? This shirt is a legendary choice. It’s high-quality, hilariously blunt, and 100% accurate.
Thank you for shopping with DogMomHat.
This Shipping Policy explains how orders are processed, produced, and delivered to customers in the United States and internationally.
Order Processing & Production Time
All orders are typically processed within 24 hours after payment confirmation.
Each product is made to order. The standard production time is 1–5 business days. During peak seasons or promotional periods, production may take slightly longer. If there is an unusual delay, we will notify you by email.
Domestic Shipping (United States)
Delivery Time & Shipping Costs
Shipping costs are calculated and displayed at checkout before payment is completed.
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard Shipping1–15 business daysFree for orders over $79
Delivery times are estimates and may vary due to carrier delays, weather conditions, or other external factors.
Shipping Destinations
DogMomHat ships to:
All U.S. states
U.S. territories
APO / FPO / DPO addresses
Please ensure your shipping address is accurate. We are not responsible for delays caused by incorrect or incomplete address information.
Shipment Confirmation & Tracking
Once your order ships, you will receive a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number.
Tracking information usually becomes active within 24 hours after shipment.
Customs, Duties & Taxes
For international orders, customers are responsible for any customs fees, import duties, or taxes imposed by their local authorities. These charges are not included in the product price or shipping cost.
Shipping Issues & Damaged Packages
DogMomHat is not responsible for packages that are lost or damaged by the shipping carrier.
However, if your order arrives damaged, please contact us promptly so we can assist you with a resolution.
Please keep all original packaging and damaged items when reporting an issue.
International Shipping
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard International2–20 business daysCalculated at checkout
International delivery times may vary depending on destination and customs processing.
Returns
For information about returns and refunds, please refer to our Return & Refund Policy, which outlines eligibility, timelines, and procedures.
Thank you for shopping with DogMomHat.
This Shipping Policy explains how orders are processed, produced, and delivered to customers in the United States and internationally.
Order Processing & Production Time
All orders are typically processed within 24 hours after payment confirmation.
Each product is made to order. The standard production time is 1–5 business days. During peak seasons or promotional periods, production may take slightly longer. If there is an unusual delay, we will notify you by email.
Domestic Shipping (United States)
Delivery Time & Shipping Costs
Shipping costs are calculated and displayed at checkout before payment is completed.
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard Shipping1–15 business daysFree for orders over $79
Delivery times are estimates and may vary due to carrier delays, weather conditions, or other external factors.
Shipping Destinations
DogMomHat ships to:
All U.S. states
U.S. territories
APO / FPO / DPO addresses
Please ensure your shipping address is accurate. We are not responsible for delays caused by incorrect or incomplete address information.
Shipment Confirmation & Tracking
Once your order ships, you will receive a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number.
Tracking information usually becomes active within 24 hours after shipment.
Customs, Duties & Taxes
For international orders, customers are responsible for any customs fees, import duties, or taxes imposed by their local authorities. These charges are not included in the product price or shipping cost.
Shipping Issues & Damaged Packages
DogMomHat is not responsible for packages that are lost or damaged by the shipping carrier.
However, if your order arrives damaged, please contact us promptly so we can assist you with a resolution.
Please keep all original packaging and damaged items when reporting an issue.
International Shipping
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard International2–20 business daysCalculated at checkout
International delivery times may vary depending on destination and customs processing.
Returns
For information about returns and refunds, please refer to our Return & Refund Policy, which outlines eligibility, timelines, and procedures.
Q: How do I know what my design will look like?
A:We will send you the design and wait for your approval before processing your order.
Q: Can I change a new photo?
A:Yes, you can. Please contact us about the changes before we making the design (within 12 hours)
Q: Is it free of charge when I want to change another design?
A:You will be charge $5-$15 (depend on how complicated of the design) per design as we will start a new one from scratch.
Q: Can I see the design before purchasing?
A: Because of handmade product, we are not able to show the design before placing the order. We offer unlimitted revisions and only make embroidery once it's approved. We make sure you are 100% satisfied with the final.
Q: We don't have photo together, can you help us?
A: Yes, we can! We can make a combination for you.
Q: Where is my package?
A: When the product is shipped, an email with tracking number (as well as the link) is sent to your email address. You can track the package by using tracking number from there.
Q: Can I upgrade my shipping?
A: Yes, you can. Please contact us via our email or number as soon as possible when you want to change shipping method.
Q: What size do you offer?
We offer sizes up to 5XL for sweatshirts, hoodies, and T-shirts. They are unisex and fit true to size. For sizes above 3XL, please contact us as there may be a slight price variation.
Q: My photo will be posted on your website?
A: No, we are sure that when we don't have your permission, your photo will be not leak
Q: How do I know what my design will look like?
A:We will send you the design and wait for your approval before processing your order.
Q: Can I change a new photo?
A:Yes, you can. Please contact us about the changes before we making the design (within 12 hours)
Q: Is it free of charge when I want to change another design?
A:You will be charge $5-$15 (depend on how complicated of the design) per design as we will start a new one from scratch.
Q: Can I see the design before purchasing?
A: Because of handmade product, we are not able to show the design before placing the order. We offer unlimitted revisions and only make embroidery once it's approved. We make sure you are 100% satisfied with the final.
Q: We don't have photo together, can you help us?
A: Yes, we can! We can make a combination for you.
Q: Where is my package?
A: When the product is shipped, an email with tracking number (as well as the link) is sent to your email address. You can track the package by using tracking number from there.
Q: Can I upgrade my shipping?
A: Yes, you can. Please contact us via our email or number as soon as possible when you want to change shipping method.
Q: What size do you offer?
We offer sizes up to 5XL for sweatshirts, hoodies, and T-shirts. They are unisex and fit true to size. For sizes above 3XL, please contact us as there may be a slight price variation.
Q: My photo will be posted on your website?
A: No, we are sure that when we don't have your permission, your photo will be not leak
