"I'm Retired, You're Not" Hoodie
"I'm Retired, You're Not" Hoodie
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Very responsive and super helpful in creating the perfect design for the embroidery. My lover absolutely adored it. The couple customization is brilliant and is such o thoughtful gift idea, as well! Love it!
Lexie Gilmore
★★★★★The sweatshirt and embroidery is wonderful! I ordered this as a gift for my girlfriend and she loves it! The quality is so good and the embroidery was exactly as the reference picture! It also came super quickly and turned out very nicely!
Natasha Kotal
★★★★★Great item for couple! The sweater is so soft inside and the embroidery is exactly what I requested. The Couplematching support was quick and helpful when I had a question about the item, and catered to my needs as I had specific, would definitely recommend to others!
Lynelly Blackett
★★★★★
Size Guide
Product measurements
(*) Please note that there might be a ±1.0 inches difference due to manual measurement and production processes.
Chest: Measured across the chest one inch below armhole when laid flat
Body Length: Measured from high point of shoulder from the back
Sleeve Length: Start at center of neck and measure down shoulder, down sleeve to hem.
Size guide text
🥂💼 The ultimate "Out of Office" reply you can wear. After years of meetings that could have been emails and "circling back" to projects, you’ve finally done it. You’re out. Our "I'm Retired, You're Not" collection is the perfect way to remind your former colleagues exactly who is sleeping in tomorrow.
Available in a premium heavyweight hoodie or a soft-fleece sweatshirt, this design is built for maximum relaxation. Whether you’re heading to the golf course, the airport, or just the living room couch, this is the official uniform of your new permanent weekend. It’s the perfect blend of brutal honesty and cozy comfort—because the only thing better than being retired is making sure everyone knows it.
⚠️ Important Customer Disclaimer:
Please read before purchasing:
Production Type: This is a Print-on-Demand (POD) product. Each hoodie or sweatshirt is custom-printed specifically for you once your order is placed, ensuring a crisp, high-definition finish for your retirement announcement.
Style Selection: This listing includes options for both Hoodies (with front pocket and drawstring) and Crewneck Sweatshirts. Please ensure you have selected your preferred garment style from the dropdown menu.
Images for Illustration: All product images are digital mockups. The final design is digitally printed. Actual print colors may vary slightly (5-10%) based on screen settings and the fabric blend of the garment.
Acceptance of Terms: By completing your purchase, you acknowledge that this is a custom-printed item tailored to your specific size, color, and style choice.
✨ Key Features:
-
Bold Sarcastic Graphic: Features high-impact, easy-to-read typography. We use durable, soft-hand inks that won't crack or peel, even after a retirement's worth of naps and washes.
-
Premium Comfort Blends: Crafted from a cozy cotton-polyester blend. Our hoodies and sweatshirts are designed for a "soft-brushed" interior feel, providing warmth without the weight.
-
The "Freedom" Fit: A classic unisex silhouette with a relaxed drape. It offers plenty of room for layering—perfect for those chilly morning walks that you used to spend in traffic.
-
Built to Last: Features double-needle stitching, 1x1 athletic rib-knit cuffs, and spandex for a stretch that keeps its shape through your entire golden era.
🧵 Product Specifications:
-
Styles: Heavyweight Hoodie / Classic Crewneck Sweatshirt.
-
Fit: Unisex Relaxed Fit (True to size; size up for an extra-baggy "cozy" look).
-
Fabric: Soft Cotton/Poly Fleece (8.0 oz).
-
Vibe: Retirement Humor / Office Joke / Sarcastic Statement / Professional Exit.
-
Sizes: Small to 5XL.
✅ Why It’s the Perfect Gift:
Searching for the Best Retirement Gift for a Coworker, a Funny Office Farewell Present, or a Hilarious Gift for Dad or Mom? This "I'm Retired" hoodie is a legend in the making. It’s high-quality, hilariously smug, and the perfect way to celebrate the end of an era.
🥂💼 The ultimate "Out of Office" reply you can wear. After years of meetings that could have been emails and "circling back" to projects, you’ve finally done it. You’re out. Our "I'm Retired, You're Not" collection is the perfect way to remind your former colleagues exactly who is sleeping in tomorrow.
Available in a premium heavyweight hoodie or a soft-fleece sweatshirt, this design is built for maximum relaxation. Whether you’re heading to the golf course, the airport, or just the living room couch, this is the official uniform of your new permanent weekend. It’s the perfect blend of brutal honesty and cozy comfort—because the only thing better than being retired is making sure everyone knows it.
⚠️ Important Customer Disclaimer:
Please read before purchasing:
Production Type: This is a Print-on-Demand (POD) product. Each hoodie or sweatshirt is custom-printed specifically for you once your order is placed, ensuring a crisp, high-definition finish for your retirement announcement.
Style Selection: This listing includes options for both Hoodies (with front pocket and drawstring) and Crewneck Sweatshirts. Please ensure you have selected your preferred garment style from the dropdown menu.
Images for Illustration: All product images are digital mockups. The final design is digitally printed. Actual print colors may vary slightly (5-10%) based on screen settings and the fabric blend of the garment.
Acceptance of Terms: By completing your purchase, you acknowledge that this is a custom-printed item tailored to your specific size, color, and style choice.
✨ Key Features:
-
Bold Sarcastic Graphic: Features high-impact, easy-to-read typography. We use durable, soft-hand inks that won't crack or peel, even after a retirement's worth of naps and washes.
-
Premium Comfort Blends: Crafted from a cozy cotton-polyester blend. Our hoodies and sweatshirts are designed for a "soft-brushed" interior feel, providing warmth without the weight.
-
The "Freedom" Fit: A classic unisex silhouette with a relaxed drape. It offers plenty of room for layering—perfect for those chilly morning walks that you used to spend in traffic.
-
Built to Last: Features double-needle stitching, 1x1 athletic rib-knit cuffs, and spandex for a stretch that keeps its shape through your entire golden era.
🧵 Product Specifications:
-
Styles: Heavyweight Hoodie / Classic Crewneck Sweatshirt.
-
Fit: Unisex Relaxed Fit (True to size; size up for an extra-baggy "cozy" look).
-
Fabric: Soft Cotton/Poly Fleece (8.0 oz).
-
Vibe: Retirement Humor / Office Joke / Sarcastic Statement / Professional Exit.
-
Sizes: Small to 5XL.
✅ Why It’s the Perfect Gift:
Searching for the Best Retirement Gift for a Coworker, a Funny Office Farewell Present, or a Hilarious Gift for Dad or Mom? This "I'm Retired" hoodie is a legend in the making. It’s high-quality, hilariously smug, and the perfect way to celebrate the end of an era.
Thank you for shopping with DogMomHat.
This Shipping Policy explains how orders are processed, produced, and delivered to customers in the United States and internationally.
Order Processing & Production Time
All orders are typically processed within 24 hours after payment confirmation.
Each product is made to order. The standard production time is 1–5 business days. During peak seasons or promotional periods, production may take slightly longer. If there is an unusual delay, we will notify you by email.
Domestic Shipping (United States)
Delivery Time & Shipping Costs
Shipping costs are calculated and displayed at checkout before payment is completed.
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard Shipping1–15 business daysFree for orders over $79
Delivery times are estimates and may vary due to carrier delays, weather conditions, or other external factors.
Shipping Destinations
DogMomHat ships to:
All U.S. states
U.S. territories
APO / FPO / DPO addresses
Please ensure your shipping address is accurate. We are not responsible for delays caused by incorrect or incomplete address information.
Shipment Confirmation & Tracking
Once your order ships, you will receive a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number.
Tracking information usually becomes active within 24 hours after shipment.
Customs, Duties & Taxes
For international orders, customers are responsible for any customs fees, import duties, or taxes imposed by their local authorities. These charges are not included in the product price or shipping cost.
Shipping Issues & Damaged Packages
DogMomHat is not responsible for packages that are lost or damaged by the shipping carrier.
However, if your order arrives damaged, please contact us promptly so we can assist you with a resolution.
Please keep all original packaging and damaged items when reporting an issue.
International Shipping
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard International2–20 business daysCalculated at checkout
International delivery times may vary depending on destination and customs processing.
Returns
For information about returns and refunds, please refer to our Return & Refund Policy, which outlines eligibility, timelines, and procedures.
Thank you for shopping with DogMomHat.
This Shipping Policy explains how orders are processed, produced, and delivered to customers in the United States and internationally.
Order Processing & Production Time
All orders are typically processed within 24 hours after payment confirmation.
Each product is made to order. The standard production time is 1–5 business days. During peak seasons or promotional periods, production may take slightly longer. If there is an unusual delay, we will notify you by email.
Domestic Shipping (United States)
Delivery Time & Shipping Costs
Shipping costs are calculated and displayed at checkout before payment is completed.
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard Shipping1–15 business daysFree for orders over $79
Delivery times are estimates and may vary due to carrier delays, weather conditions, or other external factors.
Shipping Destinations
DogMomHat ships to:
All U.S. states
U.S. territories
APO / FPO / DPO addresses
Please ensure your shipping address is accurate. We are not responsible for delays caused by incorrect or incomplete address information.
Shipment Confirmation & Tracking
Once your order ships, you will receive a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number.
Tracking information usually becomes active within 24 hours after shipment.
Customs, Duties & Taxes
For international orders, customers are responsible for any customs fees, import duties, or taxes imposed by their local authorities. These charges are not included in the product price or shipping cost.
Shipping Issues & Damaged Packages
DogMomHat is not responsible for packages that are lost or damaged by the shipping carrier.
However, if your order arrives damaged, please contact us promptly so we can assist you with a resolution.
Please keep all original packaging and damaged items when reporting an issue.
International Shipping
Shipping MethodEstimated Delivery TimeCostStandard International2–20 business daysCalculated at checkout
International delivery times may vary depending on destination and customs processing.
Returns
For information about returns and refunds, please refer to our Return & Refund Policy, which outlines eligibility, timelines, and procedures.
Q: How do I know what my design will look like?
A:We will send you the design and wait for your approval before processing your order.
Q: Can I change a new photo?
A:Yes, you can. Please contact us about the changes before we making the design (within 12 hours)
Q: Is it free of charge when I want to change another design?
A:You will be charge $5-$15 (depend on how complicated of the design) per design as we will start a new one from scratch.
Q: Can I see the design before purchasing?
A: Because of handmade product, we are not able to show the design before placing the order. We offer unlimitted revisions and only make embroidery once it's approved. We make sure you are 100% satisfied with the final.
Q: We don't have photo together, can you help us?
A: Yes, we can! We can make a combination for you.
Q: Where is my package?
A: When the product is shipped, an email with tracking number (as well as the link) is sent to your email address. You can track the package by using tracking number from there.
Q: Can I upgrade my shipping?
A: Yes, you can. Please contact us via our email or number as soon as possible when you want to change shipping method.
Q: What size do you offer?
We offer sizes up to 5XL for sweatshirts, hoodies, and T-shirts. They are unisex and fit true to size. For sizes above 3XL, please contact us as there may be a slight price variation.
Q: My photo will be posted on your website?
A: No, we are sure that when we don't have your permission, your photo will be not leak
Q: How do I know what my design will look like?
A:We will send you the design and wait for your approval before processing your order.
Q: Can I change a new photo?
A:Yes, you can. Please contact us about the changes before we making the design (within 12 hours)
Q: Is it free of charge when I want to change another design?
A:You will be charge $5-$15 (depend on how complicated of the design) per design as we will start a new one from scratch.
Q: Can I see the design before purchasing?
A: Because of handmade product, we are not able to show the design before placing the order. We offer unlimitted revisions and only make embroidery once it's approved. We make sure you are 100% satisfied with the final.
Q: We don't have photo together, can you help us?
A: Yes, we can! We can make a combination for you.
Q: Where is my package?
A: When the product is shipped, an email with tracking number (as well as the link) is sent to your email address. You can track the package by using tracking number from there.
Q: Can I upgrade my shipping?
A: Yes, you can. Please contact us via our email or number as soon as possible when you want to change shipping method.
Q: What size do you offer?
We offer sizes up to 5XL for sweatshirts, hoodies, and T-shirts. They are unisex and fit true to size. For sizes above 3XL, please contact us as there may be a slight price variation.
Q: My photo will be posted on your website?
A: No, we are sure that when we don't have your permission, your photo will be not leak
